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Link - Directions to Wons Bar

Hares Always Required Plan a Run Today

Click Here to find a Hareless Run

All of You Male Hashers out there

If you think you are up to it, why not sign on to the Pattaya Jungle Monkey H3 and test yourself out, long hard run for men only, it's not for everyone.

Generally "A" to "B" to "C" run with a drink stop at "B". Length is normally around 2 ½ - 3 hrs on trail.

(Remember the Monkey motto, Can't Do, Don't Do)

Ie: If don't think you can finish it, Don't Start it. Everybody Starts.

Next Run: Saturday 21st Jan 2012; Hare's: The French Connection

Click the logo to see Pussy Snatchers GPS track of Run #34

Or Perhaps the Malacca Monkey, getting a reputation for very tough Men Only runs

Next Run: 17th December 2011 - This run is an Outstation in Betong Thailand

Click on the logo to check them out

Why is the monkey "Men Only" to find out

HASH LAUGHS

Youtube Videos

1. Why hashers (chimps) shouldn't be given weapons to play with, especially in a circle.

2. I am My Own Grampa, explains why Jello Butt is the way he is.

3. The Entrapment, Hilarious, the chance you take sitting in the circle. (Audio Only)

4. What is the "Hash House Harriers"

5. What you've waited 20 years to see, the Road Runner finally gets caught.

6: Baby Boomers - Bored, Tubby, Mild (Born to be Wild, turn up the sound)

Click on any of the videos to play,

Click Close in the video viewer to return to this page.

Rumours are rife at the moment that the GM of the Lunar, Beverly Hills Pink Cock is actually Angela Merkel's love child, click the photo to see for yourself.

What could possibly be worse than 1 Jellobutt, click on his face to find out.

HASH JOKES

The Hashers Lament

My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the f***in' thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches, It sure gives me the blues. To see it hang its little head, And watch me tie my shoes!!

Bill and his wife Blanche go to the country fair every year, and every year Bill would say, " Blanche, I'd like to ride in that helicopter ". Blanche always replied, " I know Bill, but that helicopter ride costs fifty pounds, and fifty pounds is fifty pounds! ".

One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said, " Blanche, I'm 75 years old.
If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never ...get another chance ".

To this, Blanche replied, " Bill that helicopter ride costs fifty pounds, and fifty pound is fifty pounds ".

The pilot overheard the couple and said. " Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty pounds. ".

Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word..........

When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, " By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed! ".

Bill replied, " Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Blanche fell out.................. but you know, fifty quid is fifty quid! ".

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband inbed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

The Hasher With One Testicle

There once was a hasher who had only one testicle and whose hash name was 'One Stone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him One Stone..

After years and years of torment, One Stone finally cracked and said," if anyone calls me One Stone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young harriette named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, One Stone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that One Stone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a harriette named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw One Stone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, One Stone.' One Stone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why ???

OH, come on... take a guess !!!

Think about it !!!

You're going to love this !!!

Does this apply to ice sitting as well ????

Upon reaching 75, old Tom finally decided to retire.

After having him underfoot for a few months, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he go and do something to occupy his time, like join a club or get a hobby.

Old Tom obliged and went out for a couple of hours.

When he got home his wife asked about his day and he replied, 'Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys.........and oh yeah, I joined a parachute club.'

'What? Are you nuts?? You're 75 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?'

'Yeah, look I even got a membership card.'

'You dirty old man, you need glasses!

This is a membership in a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!'

'Oh, great! Now what am I going to do?? I signed up for 5 jumps a week!!'

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window.

He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, 'Do you know what I'm doing?'

'Yes,' she replied, 'you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.'

'That is right,' said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. 'Do you know what I'm doing now?' he asked.

'Yes,' the woman said, 'you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer.'

'Correct,' replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, 'Do you know what I'm doing now?'

'Yes,' she said. 'You're getting herpes - which is why I came here in the first place.'

DISCLAIMER

Hashing may seriously effect your sense of humour.

Any social diseases acquired at the hash are not the responsibility of the Mis-Management. On On