Arseholeo & Dear

FROM PATTAYA KLANG EXIT RIGHT ONTO THE SUKHUMVIT AND DRIVE 15.8km BEFORE

TURNING LEFT INTO SOI BUDDHA MOUNTAIN RD.

AFTER A FURTHER 10km REACH THE JUNCTION WITH HIGHWAY 331 AND TURN LEFT

(HHH).

AFTER 100MRTS TURN RIGHT (HHH)

AFTER approx 2KM LOOK FOR (HHH) DIRECTING YOU TO TURN RIGHT ONTO A DIRT

TRACK, CONTINUE ALONG THE TRACK FOR 1.8KM TO THE A SITE

Growing old is mandatory but growing old gracefully is optional as another pack of Hashers staggered off into the Jungle last Sunday along a very dusty track.
And so it came to pass our much beloved Mr. Arseholeo of Hammerserly fame with his Dame Edna good looks and Ned Kelly damaging sense of amusement was our hare for today. The scribe understands that the had hare had arrived back from smog ridden Chiang Mai only the day before by over-night bus for a few hours of Pattaya R & R before literally launching himself into the arduous task of finding sufficient shiggy and water on the trail to keep his mischievous sense of fun placated.
Our much venerated G.M. introduced today’s visitors and virgins, and as is tradition on the Jungle ALL are expected to leave the A site to peruse the trail in some form or another. Only the ill and infirm remain behind. In this case a visitor who suffered a stroke when he realized he had mistakenly got onto the Hash Bus in Pattaya and Jazzer, who is expecting another minor heart attack in the near future and refused to leave the A site in case he missed it! (Not the bus).
The hash horn ineffectually administered by Festering Streaker indicated the On Out and the pack followed the pink paper to the first check. At this stage it was noticed that a pack of rabid dogs had become interest in the horn blower mistakenly thinking the resembled the call of a bitch in season. FS seen exit left and the trail was called on right by Roger the Sick Prick who ran the boundary of a large ploughed field allowing the SCB time to cut across. Drippy, seen doing a form of clog dancing in a dust storm trying to avoid some very pissed off bees. This amused the Thai lumpy ones!
Today, there were two Sheik’s on the Hash both trying to emulate the others stupidity, Sheik Me Me wearing a day glow yellow shirt on hire from Thailand Railways ran every false trail catching up with the pack just in time to run the next one!! Then there was Sheik Bin Shaggin who thought he perceived the hash horn in the distance and attempted to follow a train in the general direction of Sattahip before his fellow SCB persuaded him otherwise.
As we reached the fourth check it was rather evident the pack of FRB’S had caught their second wind and were racing one another crossing the path of a small river about half a dozen times. It was just too wide to jump and so we all got wet feet. All too much for me and so I did the decent thing and took some photographs of other unfortunates. Particularly those with short legs like Really Sadist Bas’tard! Short legs have made me think about young Bang who was abandoned by his father, Pussy Killer after the first check and then completed the remainder of the run with out any parental supervision and was last seen in the company of a number of suspect hashers which included the Hobbit the Child Molester!
Roger the Sick Prick and Ringworm apparently like water. The former performed a form of mud wrestling on his own and the latter claimed he can “go faster’ because the water displaces some of his excess body mass so allowing greater forward momentum. (Pussy Killer and G.I. Jo might like to try this as well?)
Most of the pack arrived back at the A site almost together after just over an hour on trail to find the Thai lumpy ones already performing their feeding frenzy ritual.
Many thanks to Arseholeo and Dear his “bag carrier” for a good afternoon’s entertainment. After all he comes over here from Perth for a holiday and still manages to find time to lay a trail for us…..
Quotes from today run-
“Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can find in Chang Beer…Really Sadistic Bastard”
“When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there”. ..Ringworm
ON ON LL