Captains Log, Star date Sunday Jan. 18 th 2009 -

(the Second of January's three bi-monthly PJH3 events!)

Visitors Bronchitis & Boy's Town were introduced from San Diego …. or was it San Francisco …. or someplace similar where people speak funnily and drive on the wrong side of the road!

The diminutive hares Hobbit & My Precious organized first class weather for the day only then to spoil our enthusiasm by issuing a warning about ‘….. Stressed animals along the course' the alert foretold of painful events!

The pack set-off to a call of “On-On, on paper” from Jellobutt. “First and last time today we shall hear calling from him” sneered Sheik Bin Shaggin .

It was a regular trot between the Tapioca fields for much of the trail - as usual I end-up having to put on a spurt to overtake Dizzy after each check.… even more annoyingly also re-overtake when even there has not been a check - how does he do that!

VV seems to be struggling to romp along lately… is this truly a gout related problem or old age and many years of bodily abuse taking its toll…….

PJH3's management are actively taking-on the ‘Jellobutt Challenge' I noticed the checks being stationed by our GM & fearless (senseless?) RA Sheik Me-Me – “…. maybe we can not make him call, but we can prod him to search further along possible routes at unbroken checks”. Once the use of embarrassment fails to be effective suggest the use of a pointy ended stick!

No animal problems had been encountered by the half-way point despite the horrendous sight of a Plumber's Cleavage or Builders Bum on show by humanoid-ish hashers. Perhaps the local dogs would not be so yappy if we kept covered our ugliest body parts – bare chested hashers please take note!

Then the pain started…… Whilst undertaking an off-paper short-cut Lord Lucan discovered the earlier mentioned fauna. Were they Bees or Paper Wasps…. rather unsporting LL didn't investigate as to what part of nature's genus the charming creatures belonged. Instead commenced a dervish dance, cursing and cavorting and slapping himself just because of a few minor stings. Incentive indeed to remain squarely on trail…. but suspect it has not been a lesson learnt.

Between 50mins to an hour the pack had returned…… except, for the second consecutive event, Bam Bam and Pebbles who took twice as long as the pack to complete the course. Today's trail could have been walked in less time - whatever do they do out there - is it because the hash routes are being exploited for some door to door/shack to shack trendy cosmetics selling…..

In summary, a jolly good Hash romp around the countryside…. who would credit it was achievable on such little legs!

Q. Why do we call ourselves the Pattaya Jungle Hash but then only through tapioca and pineapple fields?

Beam me up Scotty !

On-on, Capt. Kirk