Runday Shag To Add Additional Color To Run Story

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Pattaya - In a bold attempt to shake up the local media industry, the mismanagement of the Pattaya Jungle Hash have unanimously agreed to add a second color to its Run Story.

“Beginning in February, Runday Shag will feature random red words announced Dizzy the present Grand Master. “In addition, we will use two colors in the text of our stories rather than just traditional black. We believe our readership will appreciate this clever use of fonts.”

Dizzy said it did not matter which words appeared in which color because a large proportion of the population are color blind anyway.

Asked by a Thai reporter if a second color, such as yellow, might also be introduced in the stories as well, Dizzy smiled, “Hey, let's not get too crazy , here in Thailand it could have political ramifications.

RUN STORY #140 by LORD LUCAN

HARES V.V. & ARSEAHOLIC

If the exploits of both Jungle & Monkey GM's are anything to go by their preferred color should be shitty brown . Both were seen exiting the A site after the run onto highway 331 (a dual carriageway) and driving for almost 2km towards the oncoming traffic in the fast lane. Could this be the onset of Alzheimer's or just of excess of hash beer in the blood stream?

However back to the start of my “ true ” story. The considerate hares had arranged for the weather to be cool and slightly damp. We arrived at the A site in a monsoon shower- unheard of in January but never the less it pissed down for 10 minutes. Unfortunately it also rained red ants onto the assembled pack as they dropped from the trees under the onslaught of heavy rain.

ON OUT and the large damp pack exit stage right Indian style down into what had been a dry steam bed 10 minutes earlier, across and up into a palm plantation. Here, the palms possessed thorns so large that some of the hashers became ensnared on the ferocious spikes and were only able to escape with help from others.

Garbage Collector made an early dash for freedom and was leading the pack towards the first check. However, his little legs were unable to keep pace with his bulky torso which resulted in an amazing dive c/w bizarre Franco guttural sound down a bank . Rusty Ring Hole and Jellobutt then took over the stewardship of the pack much relieved that the early French challenge had crashed in such a dramatic fashion.

The first check was solved and the pack continued around a pineapple field. Here it became evident that the hares were using some sort of bio-degradable paper which dissolved in water. The trail was very difficult to follow which ensured the whole pack kept together. Even Conrad the American virgin who was running in Jesus sandals kept up with pace.

Twisting and turning among the hills the trail was both interesting and challenging and turned the pack inside out time and time again. Arriving at a check at the edge of a cassava field the hares had cleverly placed the start of correct trail in some trees just behind the check going up a very steep hill. Here, it took the FRB's about ten minutes of fruitless running about before the check was broken by Shooting Star (50 th Run Today) and it was back into the thorns again to traverse the slope. LL using his propensity for the shortest route and a little local knowledge cut into the trees from where he was checking and the SCB found paper directly!!! Verbal abuse from G.I.Joe directed at Lucan may alter his future hashing behavior although old habits die hard.

We are all aware of Jackal's disposition of talking with his celestial friends. Now, we have learned he is a dog hater!! Witnesses “claim” he was seen to step onto a small unarmed puppy while marching (German style) past a Thai house. When questioned about this act of violent conduct later in the circle he claimed “condensation” problems on his spectacles.

As the hash progressed towards the ON IN there were in all probability 35 hashers still running as a pack- even Sir Dickman a Jungle visitor was a noted FRB in the latter stages.

Unfortunately, all good things have to end, and so with a nice down hill stretch we arrived back at the A site ready for a cold beer and alfresco gourmet delights from the resident French chef.

A highly entertaining circle with numerous R.A's then ensued before “Get pissed on your own account” was called and the Hash Bus was boarded to transport everyone back to the bright lights of Pattaya. To find out what occurred in the circle you will have to join the Jungle Hash. This is a RUN REPORT.

ONON to the next Jungle 15 th Feb LL