PJH3 Run 145. 26 April 2009. Back to Front and Front to Back

The three week gap since our last Jungle Hash had given the hares, Bam Bam and

Frozen Bollocks, sufficient time to recee their trail. Their plan was to out-wit those

fortunate, but few, Jungle Hashers with the minimum of intelligence to solve even

the most elementary checks.

The surprisingly good turn out confirmed the reputation of these hares and after

welcoming visitors from Okinawa and Pattaya H3, our G.M. invited the hares to

brief the pack on today's run.

Nothing extraordinary in Bam Bam's briefing, except thicker than usual paper

strips to match their own intelligence, orange checks to colour co-ordinate with the

laterite and an explanation that precisely 9 checks, just one back check and no

false trails lay before us. Down the track 400 metres, turn left and look for the

paper! That's clear then! A straightforward run where we can count the checks and

be certain we are heading in the right direction!

Less than three minutes later and no more than the 400 metres down the trail the

pack were irretrievably split! The first check was called shortly after the left turn. A

“super intelligent” group including Capt Kirk, Sheik Me Me, Lord Lucan and your

scribe decided the first check could be the one and only back check mentioned by

the Hares and ignored the left turn. Paper was found within touching distance and

On On was promptly called, whereupon the G.M., Greyhound, Rusty Ringhole, the

visitors and most of the pack joined the “super intelligent” group who were by now

on paper and speeding anti-clockwise and out along the in-trail!

Others including Jellobut, Mrs Head, G.I. Joe and the Cabbages had apparently

also found paper and were running clockwise and presumably in the correct

direction.

Meanwhile the “super group” were doing fine traveling counter clockwise.

Picturesque country, great trail, paper a bit sparse in places yet really good checks

kept the “super group” together with plenty of shortcutting opportunities. Our G.M.

still recovering from the A.G.P.U. on Friday was heard cursing the hares for his own

befuddled state, complaining that the paper was very close to the checks. Yet the

packed was still well bunched and the photographic opportunity a-top the highest point of the run was put to good use, with H.I.V. and Shooting Star recording the

anti-clockwise group for posterity. Even “super intelligent” Rumpled Foreskin had

not yet rumbled the unfolding calamity!

A third group, our regular SCB's, were somewhere in between, as this dual run

scenario developed. In their own peculiar soporific state they also failed to

anticipate the consequences. Nothing new there then! Sheik Bin Shaggin,

Spaghetti Head et al, eventually decided they should bisect both contra-rotating

packs. Rumour has it that they were even obliged to break into a run to extricate

themselves from the inevitable head on collision which Spaghetti Head had

evidently failed to do in his vehicle a few days earlier.

After 45 minutes the showdown occurred with both packs eventually crossing and

abusing each other as they passed. The larger anticlockwise pack, by now well

over halfway around, had finally realized what was happening and why the checks

had paper leading away from them! The trail continued through plantations, the

inevitable tapioca and good tracks, with the anticlockwise group now calling nO nO.

This group arrived back to the beer in 70 -75 minutes with the clockwise pack just

a few minutes later and various assorted stragglers appearing from a multitude of

compass bearings for the following 15 minutes.

Post run inquisitions followed, with most agreeing that they had participated in a

truly remarkable achievement in Hashing history. Both contra-rotating packs had

enjoyed two separate but simultaneous runs, both along the same trail and using

the same checks! Well done to both Bam Bam and Frozen Bollocks for laying a

fantastic trail culminating in a truly amazing yet successful cock-up!

Hobbit