PATTAYA JUNGLE HASH RUN #146

“OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW”

What a great day for a run in the jungle, walk in the park, cold beer under the coconut trees, and getting rid of the “old and used” and welcoming the “new and vibrant”! As we are still residing in Ban Amphoe, it was a short drive to the A-site, down the dirt road, just across from the Asian University entrance. With all of the rain that we've had lately, the road was in a decent condition – with only a few deep holes and washouts! These were easy for Mrs. Head to navigate, as it seems she will no longer let me drive anywhere “intoxicants” might be available for me to consume! Party pooper!

We arrived early at the A-site to witness “the old GM – Dizzy” scurrying around “like the chicken whose head had become detached” – ensuring that the A-site was acceptable for his departure! Shortly, Lord Lucan arrived with the rags, chairs, and other circle equipment. He was quickly followed by “the new vibrant GM – Hobbit” with today's cool seats of ice! Yes, we would all get a chance to check them out later!

Today's A-site area is familiar to many of the local Pattaya joint hashers who have run here for any length of time! Lord Lucan used this site most recently, as I can remember! There is shade and danger abundant from the many large coconut trees; plenty of area to park; and multiple trails and roads to get lost on – as Hans found out later! The bus arrived and signups were quickly taken by G.I. Joe and Squeeze My Tube! GM Dizzy, quickly called the hashers together to form a circle! His urgency to accomplish this gave strong indications that it could be a long run and/or an expediency to turn the GM ship over to Hobbit! It's funny how one walks slowly into a position and runs like hell to get out of it when it's over!

Hobbit, showing his fitness for “command” led the runner's to the on out paper – which entered into the large pineapple field and quickly to the first check! The FRB's – Mudcracker, Jello Butt, G.I. Joe, Mrs. Head and other's were checking up front but, it was Squeeze My Tube, who was checking on a back trail who found paper first! Once again the pack was on trail with the normal front runner's racing from the back to try and take the lead. Exiting the hot open pineapple field we enjoyed the cool mango tree area – except for the smell of rotting mango's (yes, someone always has to whine instead of dwelling on the shade and cool of the positive)!

This trail led to a vast open area where a road and riverbed had been recently cleared. The pack scattered in all directions only to find out once again it was a 90 degree right turn into more cool trees and a properly placed paper trail! Sir Spag Head, after checking out two long trails – without paper, caught up with today's walker's and walking wounded – Sheikh Bin Shaggin', Really Sadistic Bastard, and Mad Cow! Spag noticed that Mad Cow had been running in some form of “bird shit” and/or “bird flu” as his both feet had changed into three long talons with feathers and he was continuing to chirp nonstop.

At this time, Spag came upon Hans who was insistent that the On-On was being called to the left. Spag attempted to convince Hans that the trail was to the right but, Hans continued to the left and road off into the sunset (while checking for paper “head down” while it was at eye level). The FRB's and SCB's were now 360 degrees in the newly planted tapioca! The sun was radiating off a shinny object to the right side and most runners radiated that way – only to find that the glare was coming from Hobbit's head! It seems that Hobbit had been trail sweeping and didn't take into consideration the slowness of today's runners. A hat would have aided deception!

The runners emerged from the large washout area onto a nice dirt road where the “well concealed” drink stop was located. Stories were already spreading of how Jello Butt and Mudcracker were racing up the road when “the devious” Jello Butt yelled “false trail”! Mudcracker slowed upon hearing this and Jello Butt continued and raced to the truck declaring that “he had won”! The bucket would await him later for his trickery and deception! After the “surprise” water stop – which was greatly appreciated – it was a comfortable, tricky, well papered 2k back to the A-site. The tail ender's – Bangka Blower, Lord Lucan, Spag, Bam-Bam, were personally led and escorted back to the A-site by My Precious, That's The One, and Hobbit. The entire pack was back within about 1:20 – that is, all except Hans! Hope your safe – young fellow!

I feel it necessary to commend Missing Link for the mobility progress he is making; Split Beaver for his continued “Jungle event photo coverage” (and for introducing a new young runner to hashing); and Arse-o-holic for his continued steady running and support throughout Pattaya hashing.

Finally – Dizzy, you're going to be a hard act to follow! Your last couple of weeks have been truly outstanding! The AGPU was great success and appreciated by all! Jungle Run # 145 went smoothly with many visitors attending! Bam-Bam's forwards/backwards trail was exceptionally different and devious and added to the occasion! Last weeks PH3 run (which you finally showed up to hare) with VV – came off without a hitch and went smoothly! And today's festivities wrapped up a superb year for you as the Jungle GM. Smooth easy running is ahead! Thanks for all of your support and hard work!

Hobbit – Today's run was a grand entrance to your year of GM ship! Continue to keep the Jungle Hash running smoothly! Continue to make it a family fun event that everyone enjoys attending! Encourage participation (an individual benefits more from an organization when they assist that organization in obtaining its objectives). Yes, some individual's are lazy! Remember to: Praise in public – Admonish in private – and kick ass where and when necessary. Good Luck in the upcoming year!

Sir Spaghetti Head