PJH3 Run 156, Sunday 6 September, 2009

I was really worried when our Grand Master nominated me to pen this write up.

Upon scanning the usual gathering of overweight farangs and beautiful Thai

ladies at the pre-run circle, I realized that most could hardly read, so decided

that the task was not so onerous after all.

G.M. Hobbit, welcomed our solitary visitor Burl Ives from Wanchai Hash, Hong

Kong , before inviting today's hares Sheik Bin Shaggin and Spaghetti Head to

brief the pack.

Spag Head thereupon launched into a convoluted description of farmers,

fences, forbidden areas and unfathomable descriptions of false trails and back

checks, by which time nobody was listening, especially Mrs Head, since she

already had the inside info. At the mention of a water check the pack audibly

gasped and a few mutterings were heard from certain SCB's, particularly when

the hares stated the second part would be almost non stop running.

Cabbage Knievel, Rusty Ringhole and G.I.Joe started strongly until an early

back check thwarted their attempts to escape. After a suitable interval, On On

was eventually called by none other than Mrs Head, where after the trail

meandered along good tracks beside pineapple fields, while another back

check caught out Shit Thru a Duck, leaving Greyhound and Beverly Hills P.C.

leading the pack. More good checks kept the pack well bunched, so much so,

that Satan's Willy, Missing Link and Mad Cow miraculously appeared after 30

minutes of hard running to lead the pack and to discover an uphill check. All

claimed they had been seriously checking for several minutes before the FRB's

arrived, but with all reclining alongside the check, this was hardly convincing!

By this time G.I Joe had successfully crashed while trying to overtake both

G.M. Hobbit and J.M., Sheik Me Me and so retribution was swift and fully

justified. Meanwhile Lucan and Bam Bam had gone AWOL together among

some thorny bushes where Spag Head had adopted a 3 metre Boa.

Then the fence! Only two choices, right or left, with the latter eventually

winning out Single file was in order as the pack followed the fence for several

hundred meters while at serious risk of tripping and impaling themselves after

our hares had been forced to undertake some serious coppicing.

The final stretch to the water stop was fast with the survivors arriving closely

bunched after the predicted 45 minutes. Horse, Turd Burglar and Steptoe were

conserving themselves for the second part while Robbing Bastard and Try a

Fuck had arrived panting and grunting looking well satisfied. Dizzy not too far

behind making up this special threesome!

A short break and we were off on the second part. Across Highway 331 where

Rusty Ringhole came a cropper trying to cut corners in a vain attempt to keep

up with STD who had just returned from a 10km run in Bangkok with the

antibiotics and steroids still effective. Through a mango orchard, up a hill with

the promised view absolutely stunning and eventually back to Highway 331,

the second part with several devious loops gave plenty of shortcutting

opportunities. That's the One, Squeeze My Tube and Cowpat Moo all took

advantage of these shortcuts, but this scribe warned by our despotic G.M. to

complete and record the entire run in impeccable English could only risk

shortcutting when Hobbit was hidden among the tapioca!

The circle debate was unanimous and quick in declaring a good run especially

since your translation costs were now approaching THB 10,000.

My Precious.