LOST WITHOUT A TRACE EPISODE #158

NIGHT DYKES OBITUARY

Following the recent demise of Spaghetti Head on trail we, sadly have to report the loss of another gallant hasher.

Dutch Hasher “ Night Dyke ” was passionate, quirky and always determined to follow his own instincts.

Born in Holland at an early age he went on to serve with distinction in the Boer War campaign in the Transvaal circa 1891 and then latterly in the jungles of Dutch Indonesian Borneo where his legendary jungle skills were honed.

Latterly, his journey brought him to the jungles of Thailand 's eastern seaboard where knowledgeable members of the PJH3 know areas adjacent to Highway 331 are thickly forested and it is a demon haunted place to be avoided at all costs. However, to Night Dyke this represented all he loved. Verdant forest slashed by logging roads, a net work of wounds bleeding orange mud interspersed by fields of cassava and pineapple.

We can all remember Night Dyke dressed in traditional hashing attire – A loin cloth covering his genitalia but leaving his muscular buttocks bare. His feet disproportionately large and splayed. His wristwatch glinting incongruously on his arm and his mobile phone at his hip. It is sad indeed, he never mastered the used of his Nokia and the watch stopped at 3.50 some two years ago. It is indeed a sad loss to the hashing world…………

R.I.P.

The washing of the body ceremony will be held on Tuesday followed by a full cremation on Thursday at What Wat.

Hashers, attending are reminded to bring beer and any (dry) kindling wood they can find.......it becomes a messy business when we can't get the bonfire going!

AND SO TO THE RUN STORY

An episode from Ball Ringers “Gullible Travels” as his runs is fondly referred to.

While I can understand Bell End's limited understanding of the English vernacular having Thai parentage, Ball Ringer has never understood the verb spontaneous and is known to plan and plan and plan his hash runs some years in advance,. and indeed to lay paper on paper which has created his large Yeti size carbon footprint and a probability that the world will warm by a further 5% in the next 10 years because of his activities.

After the hash bus had disgorged a large number of disorientated hashers and G.I. Joe and Squeeze My Tube had completed the sign-ups a circle formed and pack were ON OUT onto trail and the expectation of a classic “Jungle Run”.

Check Number 1. Left. A hole in the bush solved by Dizzy and we emerge into Elephant grass.

Check No 2. Right and into the bush again solved by Lord Lucan …..Check No 3 solved by Jellobutt, Mud Cracker, Smelly Bastard and Karamba who were all racing and short cut the previous check.

Into a rubber plantation across a field over a stream across another field and a back check and the majority of the pack are still together after 30 minutes.

Up a hill and the pack snakes over the brow – animal noises emanate from below and the sweat drips from the effort involved. Next check…but eagle eyed Shooting Star finds paper and the “FRB's retrace their footsteps to catch up again

And then the pack drop into a steam bed where unless you where less than 4'6” in stature a lot of time was on hands and knees – the pack emerged muddy and well blooded. King Yao Yao found some suitable colloquial phrases to describe this part of the run!!

Over the hill again and then some running before the last check and a short trot into the A site and a welcome cold drink.

The scribe would add search parties were sent out to find Night Dyke but to no avail. (LWT) To find out what went on in the subsequent circle where we welcomed all the virgins and returnees you will have to run on the Jungle Hash because here we only scribe a run report (and occasional obituary).

ONON Lord Lucan