From Pattaya Klang

•  Do a U-ey & head down Soi Sukumvit Pattaya 53 ( Muslim Road ) for 4.9 km to T- junction Turn Left into Soi Nong Prue 17

•  Continue to cross roads & go straight over

•  Continue to T- junction with 3240 ,Turn Right opposite 7/11

•  Continue down 3240 to flyover across highway 36

•  Follow route 3240 for 2.9 km to HHH sign on left

•  Continue down asphalt road to A site HHH on right.

From Bangkok

•  Follow route 7 to route 36 towards Rayong.

•  Take 3240 exit left by flyover

•  Follow route 3240 for 2.9 km to HHH sign on left

•  Continue down asphalt road to A site HHH on right.

If all else fails see the map!

On On Burl Ives!

Report for Pattaya Jungle Hash Run Number 165

Before this report opens, advice to the educated: if any words such as “metre”, “colour”

have been automatically mis-re-spelt by the incumbent computer as “meter”, “color”

respectively etc, you are requested to forgive the yank orientated rubbish machine and

re-apply the correct English language spelling. The human interfacing author will have

tried to weed out the un-English trash, but one or two items may yet slip through.

It was a good start. The bus turned up, and departed, on time. That was the good bit, it

went downhill from there. The first “issue” was that nobody on the bus, including the

hare (actually, particularly the hare), seemed to know where to go. Or rather, how to get

there. Having read the mis-instructions provided by the hares (Jellobut and Burl Ives,

don't we just love'em ?), everybody on the bus thought about it and came up with a “better”

way to go. And understandably so. Mis-instructions indeed, probably one of this life's

gems. They resembled at best a game of snakes and ladders, the worst is not talked

about in decent company but rhymes with, and looks like, plain beheaded “hit”. Instead

of following an actual road, the mis-instructions would have the bus negotiate the busiest

soi west of Sukhumvit, the busiest and narrowest soi east of Sukhumvit, and multiple

turns and weaves, including at least one totally useless and confusing U-turn, and all this

along by-ways that are sometimes difficult even on a motorbike. Anyway, enough about the

“rhymes-with-hit”, on on to the run (which reminds me, this will be a short report).

When we eventually reached the A site we found it to be a good flat area with plenty of

parking for the jam jars, albeit slightly exposed. Never mind, we all had sun block to

protect us, didn't we? (our readers will note that this report is trying to accentuate the

positive points of the afternoon of Run 165 – which indicates that this will be a short report).

Virgins and visitors were welcomed, and copious run instructions delivered by the

hares (Jellobut and Burl Ives, don't we just love'em ?). Both spouted very meaningful

data (well, except for 90% of Jellobut's items that were to be, according to his own words,

something rhyming with “crap” – the other 10% being potential life-savers). As an

introduction to his diatribe, Jellobut predicted that this run report would not contain

adjectives, comparatives or superlatives such as “strenuous”, “long”, “testing”,

“over-achieving”, “stretching” and “best” etc etc. Wrong already, Jellobut. But they

will not be used any more in this report. Promise. Burl Ives then had his say, introducing a

hieroglyphic phenomenon, allegedly plastered over roads, posts and what-have-you,

that could possibly serve as mis-directions for the next Jungle hash. Or maybe this was

the original mis-direction for 165, who knows? And who really cares at this point, in all

probability nobody has bothered to read this far anyway.

On on up the hill, following a well-laid trail with some sneaky checks, including one that

seemed to back-track for about 300 metres (hey, the crap PC tried to slip in “meters”

there!!!). Sneaky or what? this pair of hares (remember - Jellobut and Burl Ives, don't

we just love'em ?) really had the pack guessing. A lovely check. Throughout the run there

was a good mix of trail type, jungle included of course, but the running rivers and muddy

swamps were noticeable by their absence.

The consensus was that this was a good run, even if a bit shorter than normal

(welcomed by some). Well done, hares Jellobut and Burl Ives (hey, don't we just love'em ?).

After refreshments and grub the circle took its course and ended about 20 minutes

after Burl Ives left.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Last word on the “rhymes-with-hit”. Some people actually believed the mis-directions,

followed them and arrived at the A site. Yes, really! (albeit a bit giddy, not surprising) eg

Split Beaver. Well done that man!!!!