View from the front !.

Well the motley crew gathered at the start point as is the usual practice for the start of a Jungle run.   Our Hare for the days run, Arseholeo promised virgin territory, not a bit of paper from previous runs will be found he stated !.  This indeed was true - what he failed to state was 1, how long the run was, 2, how tough the run was and 3, PINEAPPLES.

So we set off, nice terrain I'm thinking and then it started - a right turn into a PINEAPPLE field. Some runners have the sense to wear shin protectors - I'm not one of them.  As soon as we started into the PINEAPPLE field it was like an ordeal of a thousand paper cuts - ankle to thigh.  But I thought never mind this can't last forever.  We then went through a small gap in the hedge and dropped down to our first check in a river bed - two minutes into the run and JB is already sitting down !. I took a photo of the Jackal at this point - check out his photo on the web site and let me know if you can see the shadowy figure next to him. The check was soon solved and we were out into, yes, you guessed it, more PINEAPPLES.  Beverly Hills Pink Cock was with me and we followed trail around the edge of the PINEAPPLE field enduring more lacerations to our legs as we went.  We then dropped down into a gully and on through a tunnel that went under the road.  As we emerged Pink Cock and I realised that we were now on our own, that the others ( JB in particular ) had taken a short cut, missed the PINEAPPLE field, the gully and the tunnel and gone straight on. We could hear them off in the distance so now it was play catch up time.  We crossed some rough ground and then more PINEAPPLE fields.  Once through them we emerged onto a dirt road with a check - JB promptly sat down. I went off in one direction with the virgin runner ( sorry, forgot your name ) and soon found trail.  We tried to signal the rest of the pack with hand signals as to which way to go so as not to wake JB from his slumber - I would have left him there on his own if I could have.  But unfortunately hand signals to a bunch of hashers is much like trying to communicate with the dead ( actually thinking about it communicating with the dead may be a more fruitful experience than talking to some hashers ) - so it was back to shouting ON ON. 

The pack followed and we ran down a fairly long section of dirt/sand track into a dead end canyon. It was obvious from the hills that surrounded us on all sides that a climb was on the cards. The only question was which part of the hill ?.  The pack spread out except for you know who and the trail was soon found.  So up we went and guess what was the first thing we encountered ?.  You know those plants/trees/shrubs what ever they are with vicious leaves that are not supposed to be able to grow on hillsides - well there they were - PINEAPPLES. And now because we were climbing up into these plants from hell your knees were getting a double helping of pain.  Once we cleared this it was high grass all the way to the top of the hill - tough going but a very beautiful view.  As we got to the crest of the hill there was a section of grass that was relatively flat.  At this point the hashers that were with me spread out as the trail was not that clear. I don't know how many people remember one of the Jurassic Park films where there is a pack of Veloceraptors moving through the grass tracking down humans - well this is how it looked - three barely visible hashers moving through the grass trying to find the trail - no where near as well organised as a pack of Raptors I might add !.  So on we went following single track path through the grass until we reached a check - a check on a single track path - in the middle of nowhere.

Georges Bitch ( not sure of this name either ! ) was by now questioning the hares mental state, his lack of 1, a mother and 2, reproductive organs. But as is always the case JB solved the check ( ha !, caught you out there didn't I ! ).  Actually Pussy Snatcher solved this one and JB told everybody that he was confident that PS was wrong - just goes to show who you should listen to!  So after being distracted by JB we finally set off after Pussy Snatcher.  We stayed in long grass along the ridge line of the hill and then finally down the other side - going down was difficult - well at least we hadn't seen any PINEAPPLES for a while.  But of course I spoke too soon - as soon as we reached the bottom of the hill ( a long way down I might add ) you guessed it - a PINEAPPLE field.

At this point my shins were looking like raw beef what with the extra whipping they just had from that dam grass, so going into this PINEAPPLE field was pushing me past the point of civilised behaviour.  All I could think of was the Hares destiny with a bucket of ice and the pain this would have on his testicles - and then I remembered that George said he didn't have any. 

We came out onto a hard mud track and so at last could run for a bit.  At this point Smelly and I were leading the race - I mean Smelly and I were trotting along calling out On On all the while and hoping our hashing chums would soon be with us - OK enough of that crap - Smelly and I sprinted along the track until we came to another check.  The mud track went straight on and to our right was a grass covered trail going up and over another hill.  Didn't take a genius to guess which way - so off towards the hill we went. The trail turned into a small stream which we followed upwards around large boulders and covered by a "green tunnel" of vegetation that had grown over the top of the stream.  Very beautiful and for me memories of Taiwan ( Taiwan is full of streams like this and great for Hashing ).  We emerged out of the stream bed and continued upwards through more long grass - over the top of this hill and down the other side where we exited onto a mud path which soon turned into concrete.

It was at about this point that someone mentioned that we were slowly loosing the light.  Then came "I wonder how the walkers are doing" followed by "do you think Bam Bam made it to the top of that hill ?".  No one knew which hill was meant but it didn't matter as all forward motion by the pack had now stopped - you can't run when you are laughing that hard !

On up we went towards a Temple at the top of the concrete path - only to find a back check.  Back down we came, took a left turn and found the correct trail.  Easy running again so Smelly and I sprinted, sorry trotted off.  Suddenly a left turn and more uphill.  I have to admit that by now I was beginning to feel a bit tired - due to the copious amounts of knowledge the Hare didn't give us at the run start no one knew what they were in for - so I hadn't saved any energy for a long run !  Never mind, we were all out in front of JB and as long as that's the case then it's a good day !  Part way up this hill the trail split steep left.  I thought where now?  Still, if that's the way then that's it, so up Smelly and I went - only to find another back check.  So back down again to the original trail and on over the hill.  Yet again the trail split steep left - we all stood there and looked at each other and thought ha, another back check.  Well a funny thing happened at this point.  A motorcycle appeared on the trail with a Westerner at the controls - once the helmet was lifted we recognised who the lanky streak of piss was. Arsehole, as he was now being called, motioned us forward and told us to follow the mud track downwards to the tarmac road and then on in.  So we set off down the trail as instructed.  Part way down I happened to look back - and there silhouetted against the sky on top of a hill was the lone figure of JB.  As it happened he was coming along in the rear and didn't have the benefit of the additional directions from the Hare.

He didn't know to follow the track out to the road so up he went - lovely - bet it was tough going ha-ha. That view was still in my mind when I finished the race first - I mean as I came into the finish point with my hash chums we all said "three cheers for the Hare" - now get the Bastard !.  What a day - priceless !.