Run Report

At 2:30pm on this hash Sunday I went to the Thistle Bar operated by experienced hasher Shiek Bin Shaggin' and requested a  pre-hash beer. I asked him "How many men does it take to open a beer?" "None." Says the Shiek,  "It should be opened by the time the crack brings it." As in fact it was. Well for some its a six pack,... for me its a support group.

On the bus today I sat next to Khun Really Sadistic Bastard. Not many people know that Khun Really Sadistic Bastard is the president absentee of the world renowned Chang Beer Enterprises of Thailand Ltd. I didn’t either until he told me that he recently attended the annual conference for secret global network absentee beer company presidents. Khun RSB says at the end of the conference, the presidents of all the beer companies decided to have a drink in a bar. The president of 'Leo Beers' orders a Leo, the president of "Tiger Beers' orders a Tiger beer, and  Mr. San Miquel orders a San Miquel beer, and the list goes on.

"And I bet you ordered a Chang" says I.
"Naw, not at all, I ordered a Coke" says Khun RSB
"Why didn’t you order a Chang?" says I.
"Naah.I figured if they weren't drinking beer, then neither would I."

The "A" site was full with cars by the time the bus arrived. Spag Head and Crack My CockSick, our two hares for the day, informed us of the trail basics and off we go into the high grass and winding trails.

Trying desperately to keep up with me, panting and grasping for air, I overhear Vaseline Thighs tell Pussy Snatcher that before he came to Thailand he used to work as fisherman on a small fishing vessel. On one outing he was lost at sea with one of his mates in a life boat. Vaseline Thighs then says ," At that time I wished the ocean was a sea of beer. But then I got to thinking... Humm, no that wouldn’t work, if the ocean was a sea of beer we would have to pee in the boat." And as it happened, these two hashers never did make it past my tail winds for the remainder of the afternoon.

After the non-stop water stop the pack was led up into a beautiful hillside with a great view of the Pattaya hinterlands. Jackal caught up to the leading front runner, me, ...and I overheard him mention to his friends that the problem with them is that they are always a few drinks behind him. "All right Jackal," they replied, "well we don’t like you and you don’t like us so lets just do this thing, get back to the "A" site, and we'll catch up." "Not a bad idea" says the Jackal. And off they all went...to wherever they all go....all those crazy characters...

Well, as we know all who wonder aimlessly are not lost... except in the case of Homosexual and Camel Toe. They not only got lost on trail but definitely wondered aimlessly until Spag Head came to their rescue. Otherwise, a very successful trail.

Thanks to the hares for a brilliant day out and nice choice for the "A" site as well.  And thanks to V.V. for putting on a delicious spread as usual.

On On
JB