Absolutely Fucking Clueless 8- Active X 20- Arseaholic 133- Ball Ringer 157- Bam Bam 75- Bangka Blower 61- Beverly Hills Pink Cock 51- Burl Ives 44- Cabbage Flaps 47- Cabbage Knievel 48- Cabbage Patch 15- Captain Kirk 45- Colonel Cornhole 33- Coppertone Babe 23- Crack My Coccyx 39- Dizzy 150- E.T. 32- Fucking Dog 3- Gangreen 22- G.I. Joe 176- Greyhound 102- Hobbit 116- Horse 22- Karamba 36- Miss Use Me 40- Monkey Mindy 50- Mrs Head 86- Out Of Order 3- Pebbles 41- Pink A Boo 4- Pussy Snatcher 30- Really Sadistic Bastard 170- Rear Gunner 24- Rectom 37- Rumpled Foreskin 84- Seal Sucker 63- Sleeping On Booty 1- Spaghetti Head 71- Squeeze My Tube 108- Tampax 30- Thats The One 100- The Corpse 2- The Mummy 2- Vaseline Thighs 36- V.V. 111

Run Report

Diligently not letting the truth get in the way of a good story

First circle started with recognizing visitors Out Of Order and Sleeping On Booty. Karamba chimed in with “can I say one word” which was a lie as I counted 347 words that followed detailing the upcoming Xtreme Monkey on 23 July. Beverly Hills Pink Cock was next with a considerably more succinct plug for the upcoming Irregular Lunar Hash on 21 July.

A short paper talk followed by the hares Colonel Cornhole and Gangreen and ended with the GM, Rumpled Foreskin calling follow me, the paper is this way. One has to wonder how the GM knew where the paper began, perhaps insider information?

Anyhoo, Rumpled Foreskin leading proved fortuitous as leading the way through tall grass he fell into and out of three of the largest holes on trail. Guess his insider information wasn’t so good after all. Having kindly pointed out these trail hazards, the following hounds V.V. and Tampax easily avoided the same fate.

After about 1k we came to the first check. Knowing there was a convenient set of stairs nearby going up the mountain, I elected to check off in that direction whereupon I soon encountered G.I. Joe with the same idea (great minds and all that). Unfortunately, after making our way halfway up the stairs on call was heard in the direction opposite to our climb; so down we went to find and follow true trail.

Soon the trail had us climbing and stumbling back and forth up the mountain side; through rocks, thick underbrush and a myriad of thorn thickets, only to end up on said stairs about 20m above where we had previously abandoned our ascent.

It was on the ascent that we witnessed Captain Kirk playing grab ass with Cabbage Flaps, the excuse being he was just helping her up the steeper parts. I thought that’s Rear Gunner’s job. Don’t worry, we won’t tell Cabbage Knievel.

With sweat from the climb and blood pouring from thorn induced wounds it wasn’t long before we were stumbling back down the mountain side. Coming around a bend in the trail I came up short when I spied an overweight tree frog. On closer inspection I realized it was just Bam Bam sitting on a tree catching his breath.

Next up was a hunched over slog following Mrs. Head through 100m of head high tapioca. Upon exiting we came across the trail split for long and short distance runners. Having not suffered too much blood loss from the recent encounter with thorns, I elected to give the long trail a try. This turned out to be not so long after all. Apparently Colonel Cornhole wasn’t feeling well so he shortcutted his own trail by looping it back on itself. Our long trail then became the short trail back to the A-site.

While we waited for the remainder of the pack to return, time was passed enjoying G.I. Joe’s homemade hooch and being entertained by Beverly Hills Pink Cock and Rectum practicing their Horse call.

With sunset fast approaching, Rumpled Foreskin and Vaseline Thighs came walking into the A-site causing eyebrows to be raised and tongues a wagging speculating what those two had been up to. DFL honors went to Crack My Coccyx who claimed to have been abducted by aliens, but we know that couldn’t have happened since E.T. had long ago arrived back at the A-site.

Today’s after run circle honored Monkey Mindy (50 runs), Bam Bam (75 runs), That’s The One (100 runs), Dizzy (150 runs) and finally Vaseline Thighs received the Pink Pussy Hat award for whinging about what he was going to get for 36 runs.

If you’d like to know what else went on in the circle, you’ll have to come to the run. Next chance to do that will be on 31 July when the hares Pussy Snatcher, Crazy Pussy and Dirty Pussy will treat you to the Power Of The Pussy run.

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