Absolutely Fucking Clueless 19- Active X 28- B.B. 29- Bam Bam 89- Bangka Blower 76- Beaver Shot 7- Burl Ives 58- Bush Woman 135- Cabbage Flaps 62- Cabbage Knievel 63- Captain Kirk 50- Cheap Norgy Cunt 50- Chicken Fucker 2- Chicken Nugget 2- Colonel Cornhole 47- Cow Pat Moo 17- Crazy Pussy 15- Dirty Pussy 55- Dizzy 158- Doesn't Touch The Sides 6- E.T. 44- Festering Streaker 70- Garbage Collector 36- G.I. Joe 189- Greyhound 115- Hobbit 129- Homosexual 10- Horse 30- Jellobutt 147- Kee Mah 30- Lord Lucan 211- Mad Cow 38- Marathon Man 4- Markus Skidus 1- Miserable Cunt 30- Miss Use Me 54- Mrs Head 101- Mud Cracker 45- Mud's Cracker 7- Pink A Boo 7- Piss Pourer 7- Pissed Up Mermaid 14- Pussy Snatcher 43- Really Sadistic Bastard 185- Rear Gunner 29- Robbing Bastard 43- Rumpled Foreskin 99- Scar With 2 T's 7- Sheik Bin Shaggin 192- Shit Through A Duck 14- Skiing Fin 10- Slippery Arsehole 14- Smelly Bastard 27- Squeeze My Tube 123- Stinky Sloppy Seconds 19- Street Cleaner 4- Thats The One 114- Tick Tock 11- Tiny Anal Torpedo 5- Try A Fuck 45- Turd Burglar 24- V.V. 125- Wee Wee Watcher 1- Frank Brennan 1- Chutima Nontapa 1- Les Hull 1- Roger Nyseth 1- Mike Sandurs 1- William Scumsky 1- Konken Suetaseenee 1- Phloenphit Suphosaen 1- Dirk Zulla 1.

Nice to arrive at the A site chauffeur driven, and for once, not to have an Angry Ant barking at people where to park, the split second they arrive ... The site itself on a slight slope... certainly not a level playing field. Turns out this is a blessing in disguise unless you are a cardboard box! All today's hares appear in control and busy, even the G.M. Crumpled Face Skin, or whatever his name is? Is furiously scribbling on his clip board...I guess his hard drive is overloaded..?

Aussie hare, Bam Bam is organizing several things at once with one hand and spinning plates with the other. Aussie hare Horse is distributing welfare aid using child labour, in the form of Aussie head bands, key rings, patches and shorts. Aussie hare Rear Gunner is lighting up the barbie, well actually trying to get gas to flow, after a little pointer ( tip ) from myself, I have him all fired up and cooking with gas! (His own little Barbie looks on with curiosity.) Aussie hare Banker Blower is flogging more gear and is thinking seriously at last, about my suggestion for Hash umbrellas, whilst looking up at the sky. Aussie hare Dizzy is in charge of making sure all bottle openers are sharp and ready for action along side each cooler...well I think that's what he was doing?

After much chit chat the Infamous Pimpled Pumpkin or Wrinkled Forehead whatever the G.M's name is..? blew his whistle to form a circle...and in line with all previous occasions, he is duly ignored for at least another two minutes.

He welcomes into the circle the visitors and virgins and as usual manages to confuse them and us, and himself, as to weather they are either or, both or neither..!! He whispers to each and every one for their names and from whence they have travelled.
The answers are duly whispered back. Thus as usual we are all none the wiser.

Now back in the Golden Years, when I was G.M. It was considered good form to get the introductions loud and clear for all to hear.. I digress...In the absence of one Arseaholic who is supposed to be scribbling today's run, and given that I like to volunteer whenever possible, I was overjoyed to accept the duty

Bam Bam on in to explain the run, and we are pretty much off and on our way.

Some rather decent country for hashing had been sought out and we rolling down some gentle slopes. Checks getting checked out by Active X (he sure can sniff out trail with his nose that close to the ground!) Cabbage the Evil, is out there checking as is G.I. Joe (who, as usual, is wrong) also checking the first part of the run, is myself and EVEN Jello Butt !!  That Robbin Basterud has chosen to go shirtless today, the consequence being, no hash ladies in his immediate area.

We arrive at a water crossing that simply can NOT be jumped !! Now, not normally one to shy away from water, I needed these runners dry the next day come what may.
So after trying to find a crossing a little further ahead, decided to back track some 200m where I met Lord Lucan ambling along. I explained my footwear dilemma as I began crossing a farmer built river break. The Lord, began describing how this water never dries out in this particular area and how the crossing I had just discovered deep in the bushes was indeed well known to him, and how he had some personal experience or another with most of the features in this neck of the woods..???
Is this some form of idiot invitation to follow him, or what, I began to think?

We soon were back in the middle of the pack and heading up the slopes into fields of pineapple. Mrs Head (head, who said ?) was doing some far off distance checking and turns out she was in the right direction. That Smelly Basterud came along, ding donging his little bell, and as I felt sorry for him (looks like he hasn't had a decent meal for months!) I let him pass by. I obviously out sprinted him at the end of the run and into the A site. Try a Fink passed me at serious speed and asked, had I managed to keep my socks dry? I replied but of course, do I look stupid? In the next 2 minutes the sky opened and deposited about an inch and a half of rain on us over the next hour.. all that finking about for what? I mumbled to myself. Still, being the happy jovial type, I will chalk that up as yet another of life's Buddha moments.

We pass into plantations of rubber trees and though I am shamed to admit, I follow the G.M. Knackered Foreskin or whatever his name is? on most, but not all of his short cutting. This appalling short cutting, (for my part) can be excused, because I have a duty to perform as a scribe. Back in the Golden Years when I was G.M. this sort of G.M. sanctioned short cutting would have met with serious consequence !!
The ever so smart G.M. Mangled Face Lift or whatever his name is? yet again, caught red handed, shouting back an order "bring the sticks! Bring the sticks, BRING the Sticks!!"

It transpires what he was actuary trying to convoy was “Break the Check, and point the sticks! " I rather hope that I will be more in control of my faculties than he is, when I reach his 48 years of age! It could well have been Jello Butts fault for running up and down the same back check twice, like a headless chicken! That is a sure way to confuse all!

We all got mislead by Mud Cracker at this point, who, on spotting black top as we crested yet more pineapple slopes, had decided to ignore the paper trial and head off toward the road. I guess all that expensive running equipment he fashion parades (complete with go faster pin stripes) just does not like rain ?

We pass by a strange little man sheltering in an empty shed complete with metal roof,
When in an electrical storm that includes fork lightening, a lone building on a hill, with a metal roof is not perhaps the best place to be..?? Finally Burl Ives left his shelter and decided he would Bear Grylls it out, in the open.. wise man considering he was already soaked through like the rest of us.

From what I can gather, Cabbage the Evil and G.I. the Joe, were the only two who did not follow Mud Crackers long cut, on the black top. We thus must congratulate them. 

The hares had arranged a great feast Aussie style and much joy and merrymaking took place, the rains subsided, and the waters receded. Rear Gunner was passing out shots of Jack Daniels special rye style whiskey.. (worth remembering ) in times of bad weather conditions could always be counted on to start a barbecue or even a survival warming fire...? I think I had about 9 shots too many of that Jack D. !! Bam Bam had been in the kitchen as usual from about 6 a.m. but on this occasion had not eaten ALL the pies, so we were pleased with the results.
Mad Cow offered up some more fantastic English Cheese, Aussies take note just what real Cheddar should taste like! The numbers were swelled today with famous balloon chasers, no names mentioned (M.C.)  It remained a well controlled circle, well done G.M. Crinkled Hair Piece or whatever his name is? We have to however, exclude one well known Alien ramblings..? as being controlled !! He only took 1 hour to give away the famous art work T shirt!!  Just imagine if we had had those extra Frogs legs to chew the cusp from the previous run!?!?

All in all, a great day was had by all, and if you wish to know what goes on in the Jungle circles, you must come and see for yourself.

ON ON and rock & roll ..
Festering Streaker.
never letting the truth get in the way of a good story....

This Weeks Scribe

Festering Streaker